


The Advice Drabbles

by joudama



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 14:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5167430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joudama/pseuds/joudama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble requests based around the idea of giving and receiving advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: First heartbreak from love and Auntie Qian dispenses her advice on the matter

Jie poked at his food, and his mother's eye twitched before she put down her bowl of rice.  
  
" _Are you sick_?" she said, staring at him.  
  
Reno winced and Jie let out a glum "No" in Standard.  
  
Auntie Qian narrowed her eyes. " _Did you eat McMoogles before dinner again? That stuff is so bad for you_!"  
  
" _No, Ma,_ " he said, rolling his eyes, and Auntie Qian looked over at Reno suspiciously.  
  
" _No, we didn't!_ " he said quickly. " _We didn't eat anything since lunch!_ "  
  
The suspicious look didn't leave her eyes, and she looked over at Jie again. " _If you're not sick and you didn't eat crap, why aren't you eating?_ " she said.  
  
" _Nothing_ ," Jie said. " _Just...nothing_."  
  
She put her chopsticks down and glared more. " _'Nothing' is never nothing._ "  
  
" _It's nothing! I just...c'mon, Ma, just drop it_."  
  
She made an annoyed sound and glared at Reno. " _You know, so tell me or no more free food_."  
  
" _Hey!_ " Reno said, jaw flying open. " _C'mon, that's not fair!_ "  
  
" _It's perfectly fair. You want food, you tell me why my son is poking at his food and moping!_ "  
  
" _I am NOT moping!_ " Jie yelped. " _And fine, you wanna know. I tried giving the girl I liked a present for Trianur and she turned me down, OK? Sheesh._ "  
  
" _That was SO COLD, man_ ," Reno said, shaking his head. " _I can't believe Alamyra Brentworth shut you down like that_."  
  
" _Yeah, yeah, rub it in, why don't you_ ," Jie said, giving Reno a glare. " _She could have at least looked at the Trianur gift, but no,_ " he said glumly. " _But no_." He sighed and made a face.  
  
Auntie Qian's eye was twitching. " _You're too young for girls, anyway!_ "  
  
Jie gave her a look. " _Oh, please, Ma. I'm fourteen. You were_ fifteen _when you got married, remember_?"  
  
" _So I know what I'm talking about! Besides,_ " she said, her voice going a little gentler, " _I know about first love. This is only a first crush, not first love. It's not really first love until she loves you back. So wait until you find one who gives you a present first._ "  
  
She looked thoughtful, then picked up her chopsticks and ricebowl again. " _And when that time comes, if you knock her up, I will rip out your guts and stir-fry them,_ " she said, and went back to eating as Jie choked and Reno spit out his drink.


	2. Sage Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth and Genesis. Prompt: Boots, "keep them on"

"Trust me," Sephiroth said. "You want to keep your boots on."  
  
"I am NOT sleeping in my boots!" Genesis said shortly. "I'll keep my socks on, fine, but not my fucking  _boots_. It's too fucking hot."  
  
"But--" Sephiroth began, and Genesis gave him a hot glare. "Very well, then," Sephiroth said, and crawled onto his own sleeping bag, because it was too hot in the middle of summer in Wutai to get into the things, of the tent they were sharing, leaving his boots on.   
  
Genesis took off his boots, gloves, and jacket, then took off his socks and shoved them into his boots, giving Sephiroth a defiant glare.  
  
Sephiroth's lips curved up into a tiny, tiny smile.  
  
He'd let Genesis learn about the Wutai Needlebugs--and how they loved burrowing under toenails--the  _hard_  way, then.


	3. Accessory Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tifa and Aerith. Prompt: Aeris and Tifa discuss Cloud.

"Aerith...um, can I talk to you?" Tifa said, her voice hesitant.  
  
"Sure," Aerith said, frowning slightly in concern at Tifa's hesitancy and how nervous Tifa looked. She couldn't imagine what would make Tifa look like she was steeling herself up the way she was.  
  
"It's...about Cloud," she said, and suddenly Aerith had a pretty good idea of why Tifa looked so much like she was biting a bullet. Aerith had thought they'd already cleared things up, but...well, it would be a lie to say that Tifa had no reason to wonder about Aerith and Cloud.   
  
"OK," Aerith said, wondering how this was going to play out, when Tifa took a deep breath and "Whose idea was it for Cloud to dress up like a girl?" came out.  
  
Aerith blinked. "What?" she said, caught slightly by surprise.   
  
"Whose idea was it?"  
  
"It was mine," Aerith said, smiling faintly. "He  _did_  make a very cute girl."  
  
Tifa blushed slightly.  
  
"What brought this on, all of a sudden?"  
  
Tifa shuffled her feet. "It's just...OK, right before the Plate fell, we were all running around getting supplies and...um...it's just..."  
  
"Just...?" Aerith prompted gently, when Tifa seemed to lose steam.  
  
"We went near the Honeybee and, um...these guys, they, um...they were talking about Cloud and his, um... _hobbies_ ," she said. "Anthenwonnavemkissim."  
  
"What?" Aerith said again. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"  
  
"And then one of the men KISSED HIM!" Tifa said, her face falling. "And...OK, how did he get those lacy, um,  _y'know_  that he took off when he changed out of the dress? I saw them, Aerith! Is Cloud...is he...?" she started, then faltered.  
  
Aerith burst into giggles. "He was very determined to do what it took to save you," she said, once she could almost keep a straight face. "And he's not one for doing things halfway. So don't worry. I'm sure he likes girls, too."  
  
"... _Too_?" Tifa said, her voice wavering slightly and eyes wide.  
  
"And if nothing else," Aerith said thoughtfully, "I'm sure he'll be able to give great tips on accessorizing now. He did do his research, after all," she said, and burst into giggles once more.


	4. General Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puppyverse: Cloud and Sephiroth. Prompt: Seph helping Cloud out so he can get into SOLDIER

"What is it?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud took a deep breath and made himself press forward. He knew the general and knew the man was naturally brusque and didn't mean anything by it, but it still was a confidence-killer at times.  
  
"I...the SOLDIER program is having its evaluations soon," Cloud said, then wanted to smack himself, because that sounded so stupid--of course, Sephiroth knew that already.  
  
Sephiroth didn't say anything, just waited for Cloud to talk with a patient expression on his face.  
  
"Um...I didn't make it last year," Cloud finally said, his shoulders slumping.   
  
"Ahh," Sephiroth said, lacing his fingers together, and Cloud really wished he'd decided to do this somewhere  _not_  Sephiroth's office, because damned if it wasn't _intimidating_. He began to feel like the biggest, most pathetic loser at the way Sephiroth was just staring at him, and he was about to change his mind and find some way to slink out that would leave him some tattered remnants of pride when Sephiroth spoke again.  
  
"And why didn't you make it?"  
  
His pride was taking a beating, that was for sure. "I--I'm not...they didn't say."  
  
Sephiroth made an annoyed sound. "I suppose that's typical." He turned slightly to his computer and began working on it, and Cloud figured that was as clear a dismissal as he could get, and was about to slink away when Sephiroth spoke. "Mako sensitivity."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"According to your records, it was because of mako sensitivity."  
  
Cloud's shoulders slumped. "There's...there's nothing that can be done about that, is there?"  
  
"No," Sephiroth said. "But at the time there were other factors involved as well."  
  
Sephiroth stood up and gestured for Cloud to follow him. Perplexed but feeling oddly hopeful, he followed Sephiroth.  
  
"Pure mako," Sephiroth said after a while, as they walked, "is too dangerous to be handled most of the time and must be controlled, because it can cause psychological trauma if someone is sensitive. However, there are a few ways to counteract these."  
  
Cloud blinked, but the hopeful feeling was getting stronger. Until he realized Sephiroth was leading him to the SOLDIER VR room. "S-sir?"  
  
Sephiroth ignored him and instead started typing quickly into the computer, and the VR room shifted into an abandoned reactor.  
  
Cloud reacted without thought and caught the bracer Sephiroth threw at him. He started at it, then Sephiroth.  
  
"Put it on," Sephiroth said flatly, and Cloud stammered out a quick, "Yes, sir!" and snapped the bracer into place, and felt a strong, low humming through his veins at the materia--fully mastered, all of them--that had been equipped. "Rifle," Sephiroth said, holding out his hand, and Cloud immediately handed his rifle to Sephiroth.   
  
Then he yelped as out of nowhere, three monsters appeared and started heading right for him. He looked over at Sephiroth, who was watching with his arms crossed and no expression on his face.  
  
He was on his own, Cloud realized, and quickly cast the Fire spell linked to the All materia, then cast Libra to find out just what he was dealing with.  
  
And out of the corner of his eyes, Cloud could have almost sworn he saw the general smile.


	5. Naming Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FF12/KH: Cid and Balthier. Prompt: the best way to name airships.

"I am most in need," Balthier said with his most winning smile, "of a service only you can provide."  
  
Cid chomped on his toothpick, wishing sincerely that it was a cigarette. Shera had made him give them up after their world was destroyed, saying with the world blowing up the last thing she wanted was him dying from throat cancer, and damned if she wasn't good at gumming up the gummi works if she smelled cigarette smoke on him. "Just get to the #*$&#! point already."  
  
Balthier's lips quirked. "With a gift for words as you have, who else could I come to with this?"  
  
"...This year already."  
  
Balther's smile widened and Cid rolled his eyes. "I need a name for my lovely new bird," he said, and that got Cid's attention. "I wonder, what naming conventions do they have, in this part of the world, nay, universe?"  
  
Cid chewed on his toothpick a little more. "Nothin' special, no taboos or anything. Just pick a name you like."  
  
"Ahh."  
  
"What was the name of your last 'bird'?" Cid said, grinning at the 'bird.'  
  
"She was the Strahl. And a lovely, sleek bird she was," Balthier said, his eyes going soft in a way Cid could very well appreciate. For all Balthier was a nancy-pansy sop, the guy  _did_  know his way around a ship. "Might I ask about yours?"  
  
Cid grinned, chomping on his toothpick just a little more. He was going to need a new one pretty soon. "She was a pretty thing, so I named her after the prettiest thing I knew. The Shera."  
  
"Ahh, then she must have been a lovely bird indeed," Balthier said, and Cid rolled his eyes.  
  
"You don't have to butter me up, I'm already making you a ship."  
  
Balthier laughed. "Which I will repay in full, once my new bird has her wings." He grew pensive. "But alas, if I called her the Fran, I daresay I would never hear the end of it."  
  
"That bunny-girl talks?" Cid said with a grin.  
  
Balthier laughs, "If you use that appellation in front of her, you will most definitely learn the sharpness of her tongue."  
  
Cid snorted. "I know better than that. I saw what she did to Sora and Riku. I learn from other people's fuck ups."  
  
Balthier's eyes grew far away. "But perhaps..." he said, and Cid raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Balthier smiled. "But perhaps 'The Viera' would not be such a bad name. So both my bird and my lady know they are not alone."  
  
"Could be," Cid said, and took out another toothpick.


	6. Play Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FF7, HC!verse: Zack and Marlene. Prompt: Zack is a big dork who plays Power Rangers

"No, no, no!" Zack said, shaking his head. "It's like  _this_!" he said, and struck a pose. "See? Your fingers have to be like  _this_!" he said, and held his hand out.  
  
Marlene shook her head. "Zaaaack, that's the Iraira-beam hand position! The Iraira Attack position is like  _this_!" she said, and put her fingers into a slightly different arrangement.  
  
"Nuh-unnn, that's the Iraira Transform position," Zack said, and did the Iraira Transform pose.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Marlene said, her eyes going wide. Then she grinned and they both yelled, "IRAIRA TRANSFOOOOOOOOOOORM!!" at the same time, striking identical poses, and from the second floor, they heard Tifa yell, "Cloud, NO, put down the Thundaga right now--!"  
  
There was the sound of someone running down the stairs, and Zack and Marlene looked at each other with wide eyes.  
  
"...IRAIRA ESCAPE!" Zack yelled, picked up Marlene and the TV, and ran.


	7. Health Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FF7:CC: Zack and Sephiroth. Prompt: Recuperation

"Oh, man," Kunsel said, shaking. "I'd heard rumors that Sephiroth had hay fever, but oh man."  
  
Zack grinned. "Oh, no frickin' way. Sephiroth?  _The_  Sephiroth?!"  
  
Kunsel nodded, still looking shellshocked. "He's allergic to some Wutai plant, and some idiot used it for interior decorating. Oh, gods, I thought I was gonna...hey..." Kunsel said, smiling suddenly. "You ought to see this to believe it, man."  
  
"I GOTTA see this," Zack said. "But I haven't seen Sephiroth in three days!"  
  
"He's been in his quarters, that's why. But there's still pollen floating around. He said he's not coming out until it's been taken care of, so I got st...uh, they asked me to take his paperwork to him."  
  
"Oh, man. What's he look like?!"  
  
"Wanna see for yourself?" Kunsel said, getting a sly grin on his face. "I'm supposed to go pick up the paperwork in an hour, but I could let you go in my place?"  
  
"Really? Thanks! 'Cause I have GOT to see this!" Zack said.  
  
"No problems," Kunsel said. "Seelaterbye!" he said quickly, and took off for the elevators.  
  
\--  
  
"Combin," a voice said thickly, and Zack's eyes widened. There was no  _way_  that was Sephiroth.  
  
He went in and found Sephiroth sitting at his desk in his quarters, surrounded by piles of both paperwork and used tissues.  
  
"Yesh, Lieudendan?" he said, then scowled, and all Zack could do was stare open-mouthed and the great war hero Sephiroth, who was currently watery-eyed and sniffling.  
  
"Oh, man, you've got it  _bad_ ," Zack said, shaking his head.  
  
The look Sephiroth gave him would have been terrifying any other time, but now it was just kinda...pathetic. "I amb aware ob dat, lieudendan. Why ah yoo ere?"  
  
"You ought to be in bed or something," Zack said, shaking his head.  
  
Sephiroth gritted his teeth. "Whut do oo wand?" he said thickly, and then his eye twitched.  
  
"I came to pick up the paperwork Kunsel delivered."  
  
"Oh," Sephiroth said, and then blinked. "Dat's...ah," he said, and sniffled. Then scowled, and muttered something darkly under his breath about 'cursed Wutai swamp', or something; Zack had no idea because Sephiroth was so stuffed up. "Here," Sephiroth snarled, and picked up a pile of folders. "Dow geddout."  
  
"What?" Zack said, trying to parse that.  
  
Sephiroth grabbed a tissue, blew his nose viciously, and tried again. "Leabe!" he snapped grouchily, and Zack felt his lips tugging up into a grin.  
  
"Well,  _somebody's_  grouchy when they're sick," he said, and yelped when a Fire spell went off by his head.


	8. Life Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FF7, Puppyverse: Sephiroth, Zack, and Cloud. Prompt: Zack decides that he and Cloud need to take Sephiroth out to do something normal, possibly without actually informing either of them before hand.

It was never good, when Zack was bored.  
  
It didn't happen very often, that much Sephiroth did know. Lt. Zack Fair had the attention span of a gnat and was often distracted by whatever shiny thing passed in front of his eyes. As such, it was usually easy to distract him when he started getting that "I've been still for five minutes and that's been four and a half minutes too long" look--throw him a new materia, send him off to clean up the mess some new recruit inevitably made, stealthily sic him on Heidigger; there were usually many things Sephiroth could do to Keep Zack Entertained before Zack came up with something to entertain _himself_.  
  
Sephiroth started wracking his brain trying to think of something to set Zack off on, when he realized with a sinking feeling that Zack was no longer twitching but  _smiling_ , and he knew that meant he was doomed.  
  
Especially since Zack grinned and said, "Be right back!" and left before Sephiroth could do more than open his mouth.  
  
 _Doomed_.  
  
\--  
  
Despite his fears of impending doom, the rest of the day was oddly...quiet. Zack went off  _somewhere_ , only the gods knew where, and since there had been no explosions, screams, or Cloud showing up in a panic, Sephiroth began to relax, assuming that Angeal's puppy had either gone to the VR rooms or left the building altogether, perhaps to visit his girlfriend.  
  
Until his PHS rang.  
  
It rang the e-mail notification, so he picked it up instead of ignoring it, and flipped it open to read the e-mail there.  
  
 _Hey, Sephiroth! Quick, come downstairs!  
  
Zack_  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Quick, come downstairs" never boded well. He sighed, figuring it was safer to check now rather than let Zack get antsy, and quickly saved his work and shut his computer down before starting for the door.  
  
Then thought better of it, turned around, went back to his desk, and pulled out one of his equipped bracers.  
  
Better to be safe than sorry, after all.  
  
\--  
  
He got down to the first floor lobby and looked around before he saw the lieutenant, his arm slung over Cloud's shoulder and grinning. One thing Sephiroth had learned--the hard way--was that Zack touched the way that he breathed. The surest way to know where you stood with Zack Fair was to gauge how close he stood to you or how much he touched you compared to others. And in that respect, it was very obvious that Cloud Strife was someone Zack Fair cared for quite a bit. Cloud often looked over at the arm Zack would sling carelessly over his shoulder, like he wasn't entirely sure how it got there or why it was there in the first place, and it was comforting to Sephiroth to see that he was not the only one perplexed by Zack touching them. Everyone else had acted like it was so normal--or at least, Angeal had.  
  
He suspected that he would be more...not upset, but more unsettled...by Zack touching him and his own confused reaction to it had it not been for Cloud.  
  
Who was thankfully  _not_  picking up on Zack' disturbing habit of leaping onto Sephiroth, or grabbing his arm. Cloud was self-contained, and Sephiroth greatly appreciated that fact.  
  
Especially now, with Zack grinning, yelling "Sephiroth!" and dragging Cloud over while the boy flailed at the arm that had been on his shoulders getting turned into a headlock. Zack got close enough and grabbed Sephiroth's arm with his free hand. "Everybody's here, let's go!" he said, and bounced out the door, dragging a headlocked Cloud Strife and Sephiroth, somewhat bemused but knowing there was no point in attempting to free himself so best to simply go along, behind him.  
  
Still, there were some questions that had to be asked.   
  
"Lieutenant. Where are we going?"  
  
Zack grinned. "Somewhere I know you've never been before. Trust me," Zack said as he pulled them along, and to his great surprise, Sephiroth  _did_.


End file.
